(SAN JUAN, PR/Malavé Media News Wire) After a very long overnight global journey that included stops in Europe, Coastal Africa, the Caribbean and the Americas, three Magi from the East have said enough with playing second fiddle to Santa Claus.
During a press conference held this morning at the historic El Morro National Historic Park in Old San Juan, three men dressed in very ornate vestments identified themselves as Magi and they said they were leaders of the new #OccupyChristmas movement (or #OcupandoLaNavidad in Spanish).
The Magi, who only referred to each other by first their name: Melchior, Gaspar (Caspar), & Balthazar, denounced what they claim is a short-changing of play time for children all over the world.
According to these men (who say they are Magi or Wise Men in their respective Kingdoms) — a very rotund, yet jolly fellow who goes by the aliases of St. Nick, Kris Kringle, Papa Noel, Father Christmas or better known as Santa Claus has “hijacked the holidays” and appears to want to end the Christmas festivities on December 25th.
“¡Está loco! (He’s crazy!),” cried Gaspar referring to Santa’s end of season activities on Christmas Day, limiting kids play time to 24-48 hours after getting Christmas presents.
Balthazar said, “Look, we were around long before this Santa dude showed up on the scene.”
Melchior concurred adding, “We’ve been doing this since the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, long before we had any of those fancy GPS gizmos, OnStar navigation, Google Earth, rocket-propelled camels, and Facebook. It’s a matter of professional respect and courtesy.”
Gaspar interjected, “Bottom Line: Christmas Ain’t Over Until We Say it’s Over!” It’s presumed he was referring to January 6th, the Feast of Epiphany.
For his part, Santa could not be reached for comment via phone or email. A recorded message at Santa’s North Pole headquarters said that everyone was on “Holiday” and no one would be able to attend to our called before April 1st. An auto-reply email related the same message.
The three Magi say they intend to have a face-to-face meeting tonight with the vacationing Santa at Luquillo Beach in Puerto Rico.
They added that as a “peace offering” they’ll bring Coquito (Puerto Rican Eggnog), Turrón (Spanish Nougat imported from Miami) and the Rosca de Reyes (traditional Christmas/Three Kings Day bread) from their favorite West Coast Bakery, Porto’s in Glendale, California.
The Magi also took to the local airwaves in song in an effort to mobilize the masses.
Malavé Media News Wire will keep you updated on this developing story, until then… ¡Feliz Día de Los Reyes! Happy Three Kings Day!